Tuesday, January 24, 2012

A mother's love

John 19:26-27

The Message (MSG)
24-27While the soldiers were looking after themselves, Jesus' mother, his aunt, Mary the wife of Clopas, and Mary Magdalene stood at the foot of the cross. Jesus saw his mother and the disciple he loved standing near her. He said to his mother, "Woman, here is your son." Then to the disciple, "Here is your mother." From that moment the disciple accepted her as his own mother.

Yesterday, in conversation with Matt, he said we needed to watch The Passion. We've had it since it came out, but haven't watched it, or rather for me, haven't been able to watch it. When we watched it at the theater, I cried so intensely, so physically, that I had to take migraine medication afterwards because of all the pressure from trying to hold back the whales of emotion that wanted to explode from me. Secondary to being a follower of Christ, as a mother, just imagining my son, (at the time of the movie's debut, my only son who was our miracle, the one that wasn't suppose to make it but had and was thriving), being tortured, humiliated, harassed, dehumanized, just all of the repulsive evil that was done to Jesus that day, imagining that being done to my son as I watched? My heart could hardly take it for Mary.

As I looked up a song on YouTube that I had just heard for the first time, (which I will post the video later), I saw another song from this same Christian band, one that I already have on my IPod, set to scenes from The Passion of the Christ in 2 different videos. One of them had this scene, which I've included a picture from, a picture of the son, Jesus, to Mary. The "man son" Jesus that loved his mom, and in this scene, built something for her, a table, from his bare hands. How precious are those pieces of artwork that I get from daycare or school that are of my boys' tiny hands, seeing them get bigger with each craft. I imagine Mary loved anything Jesus created or built for her, and of course it was perfect....in every way. But can you imagine, knowing-which I think she may have known-knowing those precious hands that made tiny wooden toys, or a mixing bowl, or anything that Jesus made with his hands, would be the same hands that would be nailed to a cross? Did she know? What if you knew that those tiny hand prints that make a reindeer, or a bunny rabbit, those tiny hands of your precious son would one day be stripped from you so gruesomely...... for people, some that even hated him, even the very ones that tortured him? Did he tell her or was it already in her heart, just as her womb was supernaturally blessed with God was that also revealed to her? I don't know, and one day, as I have many questions for Mary, mother of Jesus, I will ask her. I do wonder how she grieved for those 3 days he was in the tomb,  while He was taking back from sin and death all that was stolen.  I wonder what those that took Mary home and stayed with her must have talked about, as we humans always try and draw a 'logical' conclusion to something tragic or horrible, or were they aware of this being the plan all along? I imagine there was some knowing, and some that was left between only the Father and Son, and the rest they had to rely on faith, in Him.

We will watch The Passion of the Christ. It most likely will have to be after this precious gift of life is born, as I don't think I could physically handle it. I'd watched just about 15 seconds of one of the videos, and could hardly stand to see my Lord, my Savior, going through what He endured-for me. So, I will try daily, to show Him just how grateful and appreciative I am for His sacrifice....and appreciate His mother's.  

He is faithful,


Monday, January 23, 2012

Building 429 - Where I Belong - Lyrics

"Welcome Home"
This video is a song that I feel I connect very well with, especially today. Today, January 23rd, 2012 my precious, only sibling's birthday, was also the day where there was severe destruction from a tornado in the city of Center Point, where we grew up and spent the first 20+ years of our life. The sites that were hit were right in the center of the area that we frequented so often, where we went to the grocery store,  the fast food restaurant where I worked my senior year of high school,  the bank where I went to cash my checks, where we went to get a bite to eat, much of that is destroyed now. The school where we went the elementary, junior high and high school, located all together, the elementary only a few feet from the rest of the school has now most likely changed forever. When I'd heard that they were tearing down our high school, Erwin High School, and rebuilding a high school called Center Point High, it was very sad to me. We've only been gone since 1997, 15 years. I wanted to be able to take my children on day trips at some point and just show them where I grew up. Now, I'm afraid that I'll never get that opportunity, or it will be so radically different, there wont be much that I even remember being there.

Then I remember, all of this, is not our final home. Even where we live now, is not our 'home'. This is just a place we are passing through, just as we didn't stay in Center Point forever, we wont stay here forever. We must remember that tornado and other weather disasters, economic collapse, war, the wicked getting away from justice without consequence, the innocence of our children being taken away, our children and loved ones dying, none of this was the plan. This was never how He planned it for us. Sin caused all disorder and chaos on this earth.  So we cannot expect to find heaven on earth. He gives us His word to assure us, to guide us, to comfort us, to reprimand us, to love us, to bless us.  He even tells us this life will be difficult,

John 16:33

New International Version (NIV)
33 “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

but we believers have everlasting Hope! This isnt it! Not even close! I just love this song, particularly the part that says, "Take this world and give me Jesus...." because afterall, He's really all we need.

Yesterday the message pastor Chris delivered was about anger. He said something profound that really spoke to my spirit of a quote that one of his church leaders has spoken to him before. He said, "the man on his face will never fall. He can only go up". Pastor Chris was discussing how we are the cause of the anger, not the traffic, the failing economy, the miserable job, etc, but 'I' am responsible for it. He talked about daily dying to ourselves, our flesh, and the world and just surrendering it all back to Him, just as we did when we first became a follower of Christ. That really stuck with me. I agreed with him that many times, once we become a believer, we slowly, and sometimes, unaware, allow the control of our lives to be pulled back from Him, and we begin to try and live our ways, behind the label of a Christian. I think he included himself in this, as we all should be. We must, DAILY, take up our cross and follow Him. We must surrender, daily, our families, our children, our jobs, our marriages, our homes, our finances, our relationships, our health, our future, everything, both big and small and just remind Him, as well as ourselves that He is who we desire to follow and have in control, as things in this world are so out of control. I love the saying, " I do not know what my future holds, but I know who holds my future." That's it. If we give Him all fo us daily, and we humble ourselves, on our faces, just showing Him that He is Lord, the rest of the day, no matter what comes, can only go 'up'. So, I was challenged, and I hope to start out my days everyday that way, acknowledging that I serve a risen King, a Lord that loves me more than I can ever understand this side of eternity, a God that is more merciful and gracious than any of us deserve, a Father that sent His only Son, and had to turn His back away from Him has He hung on the cross, to finish what was the plan of hope to redeem us, a friend that was both fully God and fully man that can understand everything and anything I've ever been through or will ever go through. I dont wanna ever lose sight of who He truely is to me. So until I am 'home'. I say, '....take this world and give me Jesus."

He is faithful.


Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Side tracked

So this morning I was ready to head back to work after having a 4 day weekend, post surgery on Friday. The boys and I got up, as usual, then as I went to get Luke's shoes, I went to the restroom and there was blood. Not a huge amount, but enough to scare me, as it was bright red blood. So, I called, the MEU, (Maternal Evaluation Unit), and described what I saw, so they told me to just come in to be checked. So I called mom and she would come and take Luke to school  and I got Tobi off to the bus stop and then headed to the hospital. As I text out the prayer request, I was scared, very scared. We prayed in the car as we waited for the bus, and then as the text of prayers being sent up came in, I felt at peace. I felt calm, and that everything was gonna be fine. So, during rush hour, I drove, quite peacefully, to the hospital. I got in and had a great, sweet nurse, Lindsay. She was reassuring and nice. The resident, Dr. Chappell, did a speculum exam and said that everything looked fine. He could see where one of the sutures was oozing, but wasn't actively bleeding. He said that the cervix looked good, was closed and there was no sign of shortening from what he could tell on his exam. So he consulted with his bosses, and then returned to say, the bleeding should not be concerning, but most likely due to irritation and that he would discuss everything with the 'big boss' and then return. Dr. Brumfield, one of the MFM doctors came in herself and inquired as to my level of physical activity since the surgical procedure. So, I told her of doing nothing the day of surgery, Friday, nothing, Saturday or Sunday, however on Monday, yesterday, we took the boys to bowl. It didn't seem like a lot of activity, but considering, I guess it was. She said that the twisting motion, even thought it was just my arm strength being used, could have caused the irritation to that suture. She said to just rest over the next week, and try to avoid upright standing as much as possible, since the weight can add stress to the sutures. She said that I should be able to increase my physical activity after a week, of course, "physical activity" will just be chores, going to the grocery store and Wal-Mart, and going to work, not my Turbo, weights, or Zumba....that's it. I have a follow up apt on Thursday, with Dr. Davis. Since I'm 13 weeks, 1 day, I will discuss when he will get me the prescription for my progesterone shots, since those will begin at 16 weeks.

So today, having had this little side trip in this pregnancy's journey, I was comforted when I read the One Year Bible passage in Proverbs. 

Proverbs 3:24-26 " No need to panic over alarms or surprises,
or predictions that doomsday's just around the corner, Because God will be right there with you; he'll keep you safe and sound. "

This verse was EXACTLY what I needed today. Thank you Lord for all your wisdom and comfort.

Now for a little humor....laughter is always good....in my opinion, especiallly when it involves your children. Once home and resting, mom came over to check on me and I am sure make sure I was resting. We noticed  neither of our toilets were working!  Both of the 2 bathrooms we have, had stopped up toilets. I knew Tobi's was stopped up because his little OCD habit of wiping with wipes and not toilet paper had resulted in him flushing the wipes rather than putting them in the trash. He's usually pretty good about remembering to put them in the trash, and I'll come by and retrieve it. However, the last time he 'went', he says there was no trash bag in the can.....so he flushed them.  So, I attempted to unstop the toilet, and after retching and gaging, I finally said, "forget it!". The toilet in the master bath had been giving us fits . Sometimes it would flush, and sometimes it would not. Matt and his dad had attempted to fix it, but we know most handy men are not computer techs.  So, I got out the business card of the plumber who had done major work at Nana and Papa's, and gave him a call, Robert Polk. He was so nice and understanding and I'm sure in some ways felt sorry for a pregnant mommy of 2 boys and wife had no potties! He said he'd be over this afternoon. In our chit chat, we discovered his oldest daughter and Tobi are in the same grade at the same school, small world.  First, he worked and worked on our toilet and then after a little 'tough love' with the auger, he said, "Ah ha! here's the culprit!".....and there it was..... an orange sized plastic giraffe! Yup, my sweet Luke had flushed the toy down the potty. Tobi had done this also, when he was 3, while Dad and I were in West Virginia snowboarding for a much needed 'mini mommy vacation', since Tobi was so sick back in those days and was constantly in and out of the hospital and I just needed a few days to recharge. Matt called one of the nights I was away and when I asked how things were, he said, "every thing's fine, but I think we need to call a plumber cause Tobi flushed a toy down the drain and I think it was Darth Vader".  Of course I'm thinking, "really? I cant be gone a few days without the house falling? But it was fine, Matt handled it, and when I got home and asked Tobi about it, I said, "Did you flush Darth Vader down the toilet?" and he said, "yes." So I said, Why?" and he said, "cause I wanted him to go to heaven!"  I'm guessing, my miracle son knew that we must be 'cleansed of our sins' to go to heaven, and he hadn't quite got the concept of Jesus' sacrifice, so he thought he'd 'cleanse' Darth Vader in the potty, sending him to heaven, saving him from the 'dark side'! It was funny. ....expensive, but funny. I still have that receipt and Tobi ended up getting another Darth Vader.
He is Faithful,


Sunday, January 15, 2012

HOLY (BY Matt Redman)

This song is another one that just draws you into His presence, His power, His LOVE! I weep every time I hear it, just knowing that He IS Holy, but yet loves each of us so much, He couldnt stand to be apart from us for eternity, so made a way, to allow us to be redeemed, pure and blameless in His presence-through His perfect, fully God, and fully man, son. Wow...... Just listen, and see what it says to you.

Friday, January 13, 2012

Surgery Day

So today, Friday, January 13, 2012 was the day of surgery. The boys spent the night with mom. We got up and got to the hospital right before 6:30. The new Women's and Children's Hospital at UAB is so nice and easy to get around in. We parked right in front of the ambulance entrance and once checked in at the registration desk, we made our way to labor and delivery on the 3rd floor. We only sat down for a moment when they called me back. I changed, gave urine, and then answered a millions questions. Matt was brought back and then the 2 nurses attempted to get an IV in me. The first nurse was not successful, but the sweet nurse, Alice, from Kenya, was. I had a pelvic exam to check for infection and that was fine. Then anesthesia and OB both came in and asked another million questions. Dr. Davis stopped by and in his soothing voice, said we'd hopefully be done by lunch. The preadmit nurse told me later, "don't hold your breath on that sweet heart..." which made me nervous, considering the bad migraine I got last time for waiting so long after fasting and not having any caffeine. I began to get a headache, and then right around 8:15am, they came to get me. We walked down the hall to the OR and I got on the table, to prepare for the spinal. The sweet nurse, Ashley, and I chit chatted. I started getting upset as we talked about Layah, as they saw my flower tattoo, and I talked about her. I'm not sure why I started crying, but I know some of it was just nerves. The spinal was a breeze, especially considering my pain tolerance to tattoos! The procedure started and although I was fully conscious and could hear and see, (but I couldn't see what they were doing due to the cover up sheet hung in front of my face), I couldn't feel anything but pulling and tugging. I started getting worried that my bottom would wake up, and then I started worrying about some of the risks from the procedure, (particularly the 'your water sac could get punctured, but its not likely). I know Satan was just trying to bully me. I think maybe the headache was a 'blessing' because the pain distracted my thought. They gave me medication for my headache, and before I knew it, it was over. I was taken to recovery, and had a wonderful nurse, Lisa. She was very empathetic, as she too has migraines. She could tell on my face, that I was very uncomfortable. She got me some morphine. that helped to break up the migraine's attack. I was finally able to get some coke and some peanut butter and graham crackers. Matt was so great and very helpful. I tried to go the bathroom, the first time, with no success, although my legs were like jelly, I could feel them, but my bladder muscles were not yet awake. So, we returned to recovery to wait a little longer. Finally, I was able to go. Once we got back to recovery, Kristy Benefield, the bereavement nurse that I'm so close to, had been located and she along with the chaplain came for a visit. She got to see my memorial tattoo's recoloring, and wanted me to share the story behind it with Matt, the chaplain. So of course I did, and then told her about the '23' due date, along with all the others. We left and were on our way home by 12:30. I was not feeling well, in route, and once Matt stopped to get us some Burger King, I had to run to the bathroom and throw up. Once I did, I felt better. We got home and ate lunch and then I went to rest. Mom came over and did lots of ironing for me. Nana went and got Tobi from school and then Matt went to pick up Luke from Bright Horizons. Then my dear friends, Heather and Tina, had gotten us O'Charley's, which was my request when asked what we would like, so heather brought our food by about 6?15 along with a sweet card from Tina and her girls. So our day went much better than expected, although I did have the migraine.  So we now schedule the follow up appointment and continue to check baby to make sure everything is continuing to go as planned.

HE is Faithful!


Tuesday, January 10, 2012


I saw this photo after I was looking for one to put out here like the one that we saw Sunday, but this one was powerful to me, His Promises even during a 'storm'.

So this weekend, January 8th, we started 21 days of prayer and fasting. I have decided to fast TV, and social media, particularly Facebook. It wasn't as hard as I'd anticipated. Saturday though, was a migraine day, and there was some issues at the pharmacy with my Prodrin and the day supply, so I wasn't able to get it filled, but Nana was to the rescue. Praise God. Sunday, the service was on addiction, which in all reality, is idolatry, putting something, someone, above  the place of God in your life. We all have those areas whether it be eating, shopping, alcohol, football, work, etc, that take too much of our lives and are not in the right place, or shouldnt be in our life at all. So this time of 21 days of prayer and fasting is to reflect on that.  According to scripture, in order to overcome the addiction, that that hinders us  we must first remove 1) unbelief and 2) being perverse, which is what Matthew 17: 14-18 says "When they came to the crowd, a man approached Jesus and knelt before him. 'Lord have mercy on my son, ' he said. 'He has seizures and is suffering greatly. ......I brought him to your disciples, but they couldn't heal him. ' 'O unbelieving  and perverse generation, ' Jesus replied, 'how long shall I stay with you? How long shall I put up with you? Bring the boy here to me. " Jesus rebuked the demon, and it came out of the boy and he was healed from that moment." So  the Lord was saying, in order for us to be free from this 'addiction' we have to be connected to Him, in a close relationship with Him, praying 'without ceasing', the way we are  supposed to be- just talking to Him throughout the day. Second,  we are perverse because we are too connected to the world, and must disconnect, which is the fasting's purpose. So our goal is to get closer to the Lord and disconnect from the world in a specific way for each of us.

As I read some of the Bible in a Year, and was still reading in Genesis about Abraham. I got to the story of Lott, his nephew, and the dialog where Abraham and God went back and forth, discussing the number of righteous people required for the Lord to spare the city of Sodom. It started with 50 and as it went back and forth, Abraham got to 10. This to me was just a glimpse of how much God so wants to spare this Earth his wrath. After all his word says in I Peter 3:9 "The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance. " So he told Abraham that if there were just 10 righteous in Sodom, he would spare the city, but there were not.  Think about it. He knew this, but  yet continued to banter with Abraham in order to show His mercy and that He is slow to simply destroy rebellious people. Since our Heavenly Father,  is never changing, He still has a heart now for ALL of His creation to be drawn to repentence, and to turn from their wicked ways, and return back to Him.

So during the Griefshare small group Sunday, Michelle,  who lost her mom suddenly this past year, read a page from the book, No Wonder They Call Him Savior, and the passage was this

 "Seeing God like this does wonders for our own suffering (as it was talking about Jesus in pain in the garden). God was never more human than at this hour. God was never nearer to us than when he hurt. The Incarnation was never so fulfilled as in the garden.

As a result, time spend in the fog of pain could be God's greatest git. It could be the hour that we finally see our Maker. If it is true that in suffering God is most like man, maybe in our suffering we can see God like never before.

The next time you are called to suffer, pay attention. It may be the cloeset you'll ever get to God. Watch closely. It could very well be that the hand that extends itself to lead you out of the fog is a pierced one. "

Wow! I wept as I read that. That's what its all about,  the person that we become through suffering, the changes that are made in our character, our spirit, enduring tragedy or loss of any kind. As we wait for the healing, the transformation in us is God's plan. I don't think the tragedy or the loss or circumstance was necessarily His design, but in a fallen creation, He will use what the enemy has intended for evil and destruction, to bring about life, eternally. After the group, Luke and I drove over to a donation drop off and although it was gone for the day, we did have a reason for driving over there. Up in the sky, among the dark clouds, was a beautiful, fully colored rainbow, almost a full half circle. I instantly said, "Thank You Lord", as I felt it was a little "God-wink" saying, "Mika, I got this. " in regards to this precious life inside me. He is faithful in ALL things!

Verse for today that went right along with His promises, Genesis 24:40 "40 “He replied, ‘The LORD, before whom I have walked faithfully, will send his angel with you and make your journey a success..."

 HE WILL make our journey to bring life into the world a SUCCESS!!
Faithfully His,


Friday, January 6, 2012


So first update on the pregnancy, after my OB apt yesterday, then I'll give you some of my thoughts on the devotional passage I read this morning. I had my OB apt yesterday at 3pm, but they were very behind so I didn't get out of there till almost 5:15. Matt's mom met me at the office. I had another ultrasound and the baby looked great, heart beat was strong, and "she" actually jumped like she was on a trampoline one time. Matt's mom saw it and said,"Awe 'she' jumped", which Matt says she said because she knows I want a girl, but I don't think she's that fast on her feet thinking, so maybe its what she wants, or maybe it was a sign. We'll just have to wait and see. I met Dr. Davis for the first time and presented all my questions to him. I asked him about how frequently he'd check my cervix and he basically said as often as either medicaly necessary or if I just need him to check it for peace of mind, and he'd do it with an ultrasound like Pat and Joey had both done. He said that he'd be doing the same Mcdonald cerclage, double stitch, that we had with Luke and that he would agree to not remove it in the office but rather in triage under some sedation. We'll start the 17HOP shots, (progesterone shots) at 16 weeks, (which also happens to be about the time my headaches got better in my pregnancy with Luke, most likely due to the leveling of hormones. My cerclage is scheduled for next Friday, the 13th. I was bit weirded out by the date, but I prayed about it and decided to not let superstition determine my surgery date, and my let my faith in His grace and provision get us through it perfectly. So, we'll be at the hospital at 6:30, hopefully to go back for surgery by 8am. I don't want a repeat of last time, dealing with a migraine and the pain of a full bladder-from iv fluids- on top of a freshly stitched cervix, unable to evacuate my bladder because my legs were asleep from the spinal. We are going to most likely have Tobi and Luke spend the night at mom's since she's closest to Creekview and Matt' mom is suppose to work the next morning and may be on call.

Now, this morning I was reading in Genesis 17 where God was laying out His plans for Abraham and Sarah and giving them quit detailed information as to what blessings He would covenant with them. I found it interesting that although Abraham "...Overwhelmed, ..fell on his face." (vs 3)  when the Lord first began speaking to Abraham the details of His plans, that the second time he ""fell flat on his face" after the Lord spoke His plans for generations to come through Abraham and Sarah, Abraham laughed. He laughed and actually thought, "Can a hundred year old man father a son? And can Sarah, at ninety years, have a baby?" His first response, in my mind was of humility, reverence, servitude, an action showing worship and respect, but the second time Abraham was on his face, it almost appears he was being sarcastic, completely doubtful, with disrespect-enough to laugh at God's plan. It gave me pause thinking of how many times have I had that kind of attitude towards my Abba, my heavenly father? When He's given me favor, promises, blessings, and I've said, "yeah right" or "that'll never happen". This pregnancy to me is a completion in a promise that I feel the Lord spoke through the Holy Spirit to me in May of 2008, before Layah was born. (You can look back and read about it in my early posts of this blog). I feel in my Spirit that as is the name of this blog, His heart is faithful. I cant wait to experience this pregnancy as I did with Luke, knowing what a miracle the Lord is growing inside of me, cell by cell. As we looked at the ultrasound yesterday, watching this tiny little life-the size of a key lime or packet of sugar, as it bounced and moved and we heard the strong heart beat, I was again reminded of the miracle of life and the complex workings that the Designer uses to create each of us. WOW! I just cant understand those who even after seeing that, if given the opportunity which most are not, still choose to have an abortion. We have a long road to go still, and there's several challenges that we must face: to sell or not to sell our home? day care or will  our prayers be an answered that Matt's parents and my mom possibly joint-care for this little one for the first year? This is going to be joyous but also stressful. I pray daily that Matt will continue to stay sober and remember where to find his artillery in the battle he fights with the enemy over his sobriety. I know the Lord will be glorified through this journey and this life to come, and I pray that the journey to bring 'her' home to us will be a journey like the one we experienced with Luke. I know He's in control and I can rest in that.

Faithfully His,


Monday, January 2, 2012

New Year, New Life

I would have gotten to this sooner had I not felt so terrible lately. Between the nausea without vomiting, the extreme fatigue, and the severe & frequent migraines, I've just been trying to tend to myself and taking care of the boys, with Matt's help of course. Yesterday, I was able to get the Christmas tree down and the furniture rearranged again. Then Luke and I took a nap. For supper, our family went to Mizu's Japanese Steakhouse- our favorite place for special occasions. Tobi tends to freak out whenever they do anything with fire, and I've threatened him that he wont come back with us if he continues to bolt when they do it because he just about crashed into an employee with a cart trying to get away from the fire, yet Luke was mesmerized. So, of course we had food left over for today, yet it wasn't gonna happen that I'd get to eat it.
I woke up with a headache, that continued to worsen throughout the day, making me pretty much incapacitated. I tried taking the Prodrin, taking a nap, drinking caffeine, and finally after taking the last Prodrin I could take in a 24 hour period, at 5:30 it let up, Praise God! I was getting a bit nervous if it had not let up when it did.

Matt went to work out, and he called me while he was gone to tell me that he'd found out through his friend, Matt Payne's ex wife, Tanja, that Matt's death was a tragic result of an apparent overdose. We don't know anymore details than that, but I know Matt was disappointed as he was so hoping that Matt had changed. Based on his obituary, I told him there is still hope he did. It really sounded like many were changed by him, and possibly by his testimony. Although addiction is a disease and can be cured, some lose their battle to addiction just as other lose their battle with cancer. I truly feel that maybe his heart was right, and the Lord just knew it was best to take him now, rather than to let him get any worse, or to cause anyone else to go down the path that Matt began so many years ago. We just have to pray that the Lord can and will still use Matt's life to help others avoid that deadly route. We know that no matter what, the Lord is just, fair and the definition of love. Matt had a bit of a difficult time with the news because this was the closest person to him to have died at such a young age, of course besides Layah. I pray that it will just be a reminder to him of the enemy's goal, is to steal kill and destroy each of our future and that we have to stay equipped for battle against him, especially now for our children's future in today's world.

I go back to the OB on the 5th. I've got several things I wanna ask him about, like is he doing the same type of cerclage, the Mcdonald? If I had to go to the maternity triage for a bad migraine, where would we go and what might the treatment be? The cerclage is scheduled for the 10th, but I think I'm gonna change it to the 13th, that way I can have the weekend off, and just be off Monday, so I'm not having to take off more than one day. I'll need to see what the schedule looks like that morning cause I cant afford to not be first case, considering the way the last cerclage went-me getting a migraine, then because of fluids, needing to go to the bathroom after surgery, but due to the spinal block, my legs were numb, but the weight of my full bladder was quite painful. Hopefully, that will not happen this time.

Faithfully His,