Yesterday, in conversation with Matt, he said we needed to watch The Passion. We've had it since it came out, but haven't watched it, or rather for me, haven't been able to watch it. When we watched it at the theater, I cried so intensely, so physically, that I had to take migraine medication afterwards because of all the pressure from trying to hold back the whales of emotion that wanted to explode from me. Secondary to being a follower of Christ, as a mother, just imagining my son, (at the time of the movie's debut, my only son who was our miracle, the one that wasn't suppose to make it but had and was thriving), being tortured, humiliated, harassed, dehumanized, just all of the repulsive evil that was done to Jesus that day, imagining that being done to my son as I watched? My heart could hardly take it for Mary.
As I looked up a song on YouTube that I had just heard for the first time, (which I will post the video later), I saw another song from this same Christian band, one that I already have on my IPod, set to scenes from The Passion of the Christ in 2 different videos. One of them had this scene, which I've included a picture from, a picture of the son, Jesus, to Mary. The "man son" Jesus that loved his mom, and in this scene, built something for her, a table, from his bare hands. How precious are those pieces of artwork that I get from daycare or school that are of my boys' tiny hands, seeing them get bigger with each craft. I imagine Mary loved anything Jesus created or built for her, and of course it was perfect....in every way. But can you imagine, knowing-which I think she may have known-knowing those precious hands that made tiny wooden toys, or a mixing bowl, or anything that Jesus made with his hands, would be the same hands that would be nailed to a cross? Did she know? What if you knew that those tiny hand prints that make a reindeer, or a bunny rabbit, those tiny hands of your precious son would one day be stripped from you so gruesomely...... for people, some that even hated him, even the very ones that tortured him? Did he tell her or was it already in her heart, just as her womb was supernaturally blessed with God was that also revealed to her? I don't know, and one day, as I have many questions for Mary, mother of Jesus, I will ask her. I do wonder how she grieved for those 3 days he was in the tomb, while He was taking back from sin and death all that was stolen. I wonder what those that took Mary home and stayed with her must have talked about, as we humans always try and draw a 'logical' conclusion to something tragic or horrible, or were they aware of this being the plan all along? I imagine there was some knowing, and some that was left between only the Father and Son, and the rest they had to rely on faith, in Him.
We will watch The Passion of the Christ. It most likely will have to be after this precious gift of life is born, as I don't think I could physically handle it. I'd watched just about 15 seconds of one of the videos, and could hardly stand to see my Lord, my Savior, going through what He endured-for me. So, I will try daily, to show Him just how grateful and appreciative I am for His sacrifice....and appreciate His mother's.
He is faithful,