Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Baby Arwyn update and thoughts

I wanted to update this blog sooner, but just had things come up. I did manage to get that powerful song posted, "As for Me and My House" that I pray over our family.

So yesterday I went for my check up, another ultrasound to check the cervical length. My blood work from February 6th was good, which confirmed the prurigo gestationis rash that continues to annoy me and drive me crazy at times, but is not harmful to her. The cervical length was good, and hadn't changed since my appointment a few weeks ago. I did have a migraine, but the weather has been all over the place lately, so although they've improved and lessened-so I'm not having them daily- I'm still having them. I asked Dr. Davis something that ironically I've never asked before, but several of us have had this question: Why does it take a loss before a woman is diagnosed with IC, incompetent cervix? Basically, I learned a great deal. Not all women have the same length cervix, even before a pregnancy. Some women have a naturally shorter cervix, but have no trouble with preterm labor or dilating too soon. With this pregnancy, upon my first visit this month, they were unable to get a length on the cervix, (this was about 16 weeks) because that quadrant had not been developed enough on the ultrasound to get the information-yet a week later, they were. Dr. Davis said that in the future, they may use the time of checking the baby's anatomy for also checking the cervical lengths. This is still rather late to me because most women will have the anatomy (when they also can find out the sex of the baby) around 18-20 weeks, and if your cervix is shortening and a cerclage is needed, there is an increased risk of putting it in at that point. Plus, for some women, they can be helped just with the progesterone therapy, without a cerclage. There's no exact science. It's 'easier' to know how to plan if there is a history'.....Dr. Davis explained. I don't like it, but I understand more.

I try not to post a lot about some personal things going on with others in my family just because I don't know who will read this, but my heart has been very heavy for my brother and so I want to journal this so when we look back on this time in his life, he'll know the Lord walked along with him the whole way through this trial. He's been dealing with trying to get through his Physicians Assistant program in school, while going through a divorce that he never wanted, but now must make sure is settled fairly and in the best interest of the children. He still loves his ex but she will take no responsibility for her part in the marriage failing and blames it entirely on him, yet there is a high probability that she's been having an affair of some sort while he was at school and once he came back home. He tried to make things right with her,even still,  but she had no interest in going to individual or marital counseling, and shut down anything he did to try and work things out. She's never had an example of what a Godly relationship between a man and woman is like, and how it works, is successful and healthy. So in that aspect, I see why she's so confused. She's not been told 'no' for most of her life, being an only child, and from a look over the past 10 years, a lifestyle of things and 'keeping up with the Jones' ' is what she has influencing her decisions, not trying to keep her family together at all cost. I'm afraid too many times in a marriage, one of the parties feels they don't 'love' the other spouse anymore, or have 'fallen out of love', but love is not an emotion or a feeling, as those do change, but it is a decision, a choice one makes when vows are taken and a covenant is made.  I know that Derok  made his share of mistakes in the marriage, and he knows it too,  but I know that he's learned from them, been forgiven from them and will make a wonderful husband one day, to someone that I know will be a Godly woman, after His heart, who will respect Derok, honor him, encourage him, support his hopes and dreams, have concern for him and his well being and just being the wife I don't think she every was. Marriage is an unconditional commitment to an imperfect person-both ways, and it requires WORK to make a marriage work. It's something you must decide to be willing to work at for the rest of your life. I want Derok to be at peace and know that he can still love his ex because she gave him 3 wonderful, special children, but it needs to end there. I know he is on his way, but still struggling. Lord give Him your presence and your comfort as he must continue to make tough decisions and press on to finish school. I know you are Faithful, and I want him, like Abraham, to experience it so many times as well, that there comes a point where its not just a matter of faith any longer, but unwaivering trust that no matter what, Your way is better than ours, your thoughts higher than ours and it will all be to our benefit and your glory!

You are Faithful,


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