Friday, May 20, 2011


So, I know it's been quite some time since I felt the need to journal anything, but over the past few months, Granny's health continued to deteriorate. Since January, her mobility became less and less. Her back/spine pain was compounded by a necrotic hip caused by the steroids used to treat her back. Unfortunately, hip replacement would not be an option for an 88 year old. Then about 2 months ago, her hands began to cause her unbearable pain. She would even get choked up talking about it hurting, even if they weren't hurting at the time she was telling us. Then a few days before Easter, her hands were unbearable. The doctors at the Chateau couldn't get a BP on her, so Linda, not thinking clearly, took her to her doctor's appointment rather than the ER. They immediately took her down to the ER from the office, as they were not able to get a BP either. They admitted her and began to treat her pain. She also had a UTI which they treated with antibiotics, which I think caused her some delusions and psychosis episodes that caused her to have to be restrained. After more than a week, they discharged her to Fair Haven, a nursing hope, seems like right before her birthday, May 5th. She was still having pain problems but seemed to be more responsive and able to communicate to us clearly. Just 5 days after being at FairHaven, she had been vomiting up bile-since she probably had very little to eat- so mom helped clean her up, and that night she was given some phenergan. Well, like the risks to Luke as a newborn when I had the HORRIBLE migraine that I had to go to the ER twice for, she could not be roused the next morning nor could they get a BP on her, so they called the paramedics and Linda and told her they were taking her to the ER. That was Wednesday the 11th. I had been in Tuscaloosa, getting work done on the van and touring the devastation in Tuscaloosa from the 04/27 tornadoes, after I'd been called on my way down to Tuscaloosa to be told that baby Brooks, who the Foot Prints Ministry had been praying for that was a 6 month old 26 weeker scheduled to go home on Friday, May 13th had died that morning, possibly of a heart attack. I rushed to Brookwood as Mom told me they were saying she would die soon. I got there and they were giving her dilaudid for the pain. Mom and Ralph had gone to get something to drink and Linda was telling me how she was begging for her hands to be cut off or Jesus to take her and it was just torturous to hear and be able to do nothing to help her. As we talked, Granny's BP bottomed out and we thought she was dying in front of us. But, her heart continued on. They got her up to a room and she became alert and sat up a bit and looked around to see us all there, me, Koben, Rusty, Linda, Ralph, Mom, and Ann. Over the next week, she became less coherent and less responsive. I do NOT like Brookwood, however, I'm so glad that mom, Ralph, and Linda were able to rotate times to all be up there with her. We prayed she would go quickly, but she would hang on longer. Monday, I was told that they'd stopped her fluids. They said it would be between 12-72 hours. They were wrong. Tuesday, Matt and I took the boys up to see her one last time. Tobi and I talked about going up there and she'd most likely be sleeping. He walked over to her and said, "Granny, it's okay if you go to heaven." Luke was all over the place, trying to get to the bed buttons and everything. Before we left, after I'd rubbed her face and kissed her and told her how much I loved her and to kiss my sweet Layah for me, I told Luke, holding him, to tell Granny 'night night' and to tell Granny 'bye bye' as she was going to heaven. He waived 'bye bye', but didn't take his paci out to say anything. So, we left, got home and went about our nightly routine. However, Luke would NOT go to sleep. Usually, he goes down about 8:30 or 9, but still at 9:30 as I tried to lay him down, he was back up. So, at just before 10, as I rocked him, I said, "Luke, it's time to go night night, " and he said, taking his paci out, "night night Gee", "bye bye Gee". I immediately felt like he was talking to Granny. So, we waited...hoping it wouldn't be much longer, not wanting her to suffer one minute more. Tonight, Tobi and I were laying in the bed together because Luke, again, didn't wanna go to sleep, which is NOT typical of him. I told Tobi that we needed to say a prayer that the Lord would take Granny, that He would stop her heart and give her a new body in heaven. We prayed that He would do this tonight. We talked of Papa, and Granny calling him 'Rex' and how heaven is always bright because of God being the source and there being no moon cause there is no night. We prayed for a little girl Lindsey, who is dying from a brain tumor, slowly, and we prayed she would not suffer either. A few minutes later, Tobi was asleep. I got him to bed, and Luke was STILL awake! So, I laid down in our bed with him, until he fell asleep. A few minutes later, my cell phone rang, and Mom said, Linda had called and Granny had passed. HE ANSWERED OUR PRAYER! I have no doubt in my mind He did. I'm so glad her suffering is finally over. I'm so glad she's reunited with Papa, she's seeing her son Ronnie, and she's getting to meet my Layah! As Tobi and I prayed for all the babies that had recently died, he said, "we'll all get to see those babies again mom". I said, "yes we will. yes we will. " To know she's received her new glorious body, I'm so thankful. I will miss feeling her body as I hugged her and hearing her sweet voice when I would call her and hear her answering machine and it says, "This is Zelda I cant come to the phone right now but if you leave a message, I'll call you back". I'm gonna miss her saying hey 'sweet thang' to me and my children. I'm gonna miss her.

Until we can be together again Granny, I will try to be the Godly woman that you would want me to be. I love you!

Faithfully His,